• Jody Woodbridge

Domestic Goddess Alert



We baked a cake yesterday (thank you Betty Crocker) it was fairly pain free, no arguments, not much mess and we didnt fall out.


That’s because we all fell out on the food shopping trip, has anyone else’s food shopping trip with the kids ended with one of them wanting to be adopted?


I told the kids before we went to behave in the shop, that the youngest couldn’t sit in the trolley (he’s 8yrs old and sits IN the trolley) as this always ends with them both falling out as the oldest cant push it plus ‘it’s really not fair that he cant go in the trolley either (he’s 10).


Ground rules laid down, i was keeping my fingers crossed. We walk through the doors of the shop and the kids disappear, its ok though, its not a massive shop so they cant go far, i spend a couple of minutes enjoying the quietness of shopping on my own and they both return, something has happened as they are both bickering, this bickering escalates, the youngest gets into the trolley which causes the oldest to moan ‘it’s not fair that he gets to go in the trolley’ i tell him to be quiet and to help me.


Youngest then winds oldest up, youngest gets out of the trolley, they start pushing each other, people are watching, i use the quiet but scary (or so i think) Mum voice and tell them to stop it. They dont.


At some point the oldest says he doesn’t want to be part of the family anymore, i say ‘fine, I’ll put you up for adoption shall I’, he says, ‘go on then, yeah’. ‘Fine’.


The shopping continues, i ask what chocolate bars they want for their lunch boxes, the oldest replies, ‘ i dont need anything cause I’m not gonna be in the family much longer’, i chuckle to myself, he’s actually carrying this on?


Youngest says, ‘I can have your x-box then’ again i chuckle.


I try to get the oldest involved, asking him to help me, you know how the parenting books go, but he’s having none of it.


We eventually make it to the checkout, by this point the oldest has completely blocked me out, is walking ahead, refusing to help and not speaking to me.


Back in the car i throw MY bag of popcorn on the front seat, leave the kids in the car and take the trolley back, i get back to the car to find the oldest eating my popcorn, i think, ‘are you kidding me, you hated me a minute ago and now you want to share my food’ but i dont say this as i know this will make the situation worse - being an adult taking the higher ground. I say ‘that’s my popcorn but we can share it’ he then switches completely and talks to me like a normal human being. I accuse him of being Jekyll & Hyde, he has no idea who this is so i have to explain. We have a laugh and we are all friends again.


Later that evening the youngest cuddles up to me on the sofa and says, ‘ Mum, i dont want to be adopted, I want to stay with you’. ‘I know darling, nobody is being adopted’.


The oldest comes downstairs, i ask him if he still wants to be adopted, with that cheeky smile on his face he says, ‘maybe’.


Bloody kids, gotta love them.


Have a great day everyone!

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